Spider Dance
by scarface101
Summary: Ever wonder what it'd be like if Naruto was the popular one? Here is your chance to find out. Just mind the spider's they tend to bite and they know every dirty secret. Naruto x Harem. Some bashing. (Kishimoto and Canon lovers, fuq off.) (Up for adoption)


**A/N: Your patience is very much appreciated my readers. And yes, this is another new fic, I know I have a problem with making new fics. And I have a chapter for 'History's strongest Sensei' in the works so no bitching. At least I haven't quit writing entirely ya whiny assholes. Kishimoto? Suck on this ya Uchiha-worshipping prick.**

 **Chapter one: The beginning.**

"How did this happen?" Hiruzen asked grimly as he walked along the halls of a local hospital, bearing witness to the aftermath of a brutal Massacre with the intent of genocide. He glanced at patients and survivors he passed by, some wrapped in warm and fuzzy blankets, others sipping at mugs full of hot chocolate to calm themselves, and others were sobbing away, still in shock over recent events.

His Anbu Guard Neko cleared her throat and began to explain the situation "According to numerous witnesses, one Naruto Uzumaki was running up and down the Uchiha district blowing air horns, waking up more than half the district. At first it was believed he was simply being a nuisance, instead the boy was actually sounding an alarm. Itachi Uchiha was there, laying waste to his very own clan. Because of Naruto's efforts an additional number of Uchiha Shinobi came to the clan's defense and bought a large amount of time for the Civilians, largely women and children to escape.

Naruto then ran towards the Clan Head's compound as well, but Itachi had already beaten him there and had killed Fugaku. However, the boy managed to save Mikoto-san from fatal injury by leaping in front of Itachi's blade... but at an immense cost." She finished her report, allowing this news to sink in the Hokage's mind.

"What of the other son? Sasuke? And how did Naruto already know the Massacre was about to happen?" He asked while stroking his beard in thought, a million different theories and scenarios running through his mind as to why this happened... but it all came back to only a single person. Danzo Shimura. One of the few people still within Konoha capable of committing such evil.

"Sasuke came in later, just after Itachi was forced to flee when the Anbu started pouring in, he is currently in a catatonic state. And... Naruto-san isn't in any condition to answer that question." She answered in a somber tone as she opened the door to the boy's room, revealing Mikoto herself sitting next to a hospital bed with her arm bandaged and held in a sling. The occupant of the bed being Naruto himself, currently unconscious and one side of his face bound in bandages, a small red spot over where his eye should be.

"Naruto-san lost his left eye protecting me. Doctors had to sedate him because of the pain." Mikoto answered the unspoken question when she sensed their presence, not even bothering to face them... until she whirled around and used her good arm to grab the Sandaime by the throat, her grip threatening to crush his windpipe. Neko drew her katana to protect her Hokage, but was stopped when he raised a hand, signaling her to stand down for now.

"What the hell happened? Why did this happen? This wasn't part of the plan! Our plan was simple, me and Itachi would publicly testify and expose the Uchiha's coup and Fugaku's corruption, then he and all his co-conspirators would be publicly executed, then I would take over the Uchiha clan and guide them to a peaceful and satisfied life... and this happened! Why?! Why did all of those poor people need to die?!" She demanded angrily, hot tears streaming down her face as she lifted the Sandaime up into the air.

"Not my doing. I didn't know. I suspect Danzo somehow blackmailed Itachi into this, maybe make him into a scapegoat of some kind after the clan was dead, possibly keep at least one or two Uchiha's alive to maintain the presence of the Sharingan, most likely your son Sasuke was to be the last one standing." Hiruzen quickly explained, the Uchiha matron pursed her lips for a moment before nodding. Having been placated, she released him and returned back to her seat beside the blonde's bed.

"I want Danzo dead for this. He must pay." She spoke bitterly, her good hand balling tightly into a fist as she pictured ripping out the Elder's entrails then using them as a nose around his neck before kicking him off the Hokage tower.

"You and me both. Danzo has been a thorn in my side for years ever since I was chosen as the Nidaime's successor. I have been trying to get him booted out of the Councils for years, but he is too well connected. Any attempt at an investigation would be stone-walled by Kizashi and his lapdogs on the Civilian council. What you have to understand is, that so long as that old warhawk is protected like that, he is untouchable.

If we try to open an investigation into one of the Civilian Council's biggest and most valuable patrons, they'll start attacking anything and everything that is Shinobi claiming that we're oppressing their rights and trying to arrest a Non-Shinobi without just cause. Trade will halt, the economy will stop flowing, and who knows what else could happen. Maybe even a civil war. Even the Daimyo and his court, would run for cover as every single Shinobi clan became outcasts." Hiruzen explained, angry at his own inability to nail his rival to the wall and justly crucify him.

A look of dismay crossed the Uchiha Matron's face, many of her clanmates were dead, her eldest son was now a fugitive, her younger son traumitized, and the son of her late best friend had lost an eye because of her, and the man responsible for these events wouldn't ever face a jail cell, or better yet the executioner's block. Was there no justice anymore?

"He's not untouchable." Muttered a raspy voice, they all looked to the hospital bed and found Naruto was waking up, his visible eye opening as he sat up slightly. The three looked to each other in confusion, wondering what the boy meant by that. Suddenly the boy extended a hand out and from the ceiling came a small spider, a black widow, lowering itself down from a web and into his open palm. The boy then began to tenderly pet the spider with the tip of his finger, as though it were a pet.

"Naruto? How can you be sure?" Mikoto asked, relieved that he was awake, but also hopeful that perhaps... he might know something that would expose the man truly responsible for the Uchiha massacre.

"My friends tell me things. All the time. Every day. I know things, secret things. At first I thought I was crazy, but the spiders chose me to be their Summoner. Spiders see and hear all, they hide in the darkest corners and remain unseen. The perfect little spies, and unlike humans... words need not be exchanged. This one tells me that the Head Doctor of this hospital has been having multiple affairs with nurses and has blackmailed numerous female patients for sexual favors. But if you want someone that could expose Danzo... then I have a name for you... Nono Yakushi." The boy explained and allowed the spider to perch upon his shoulder, a pair of gleaming ruby eyes appearing on its small head.

"Nono? The orphanage caretaker? Naruto... how reliable is the information the Spiders give you? My spymaster and pupil Jiraiya, the Toad Sannin hasn't been able to find anything. What makes you believe the Spiders have?" Hiruzen questioned, unsure of what to make of this newfound discovery, but could this finally be the big break that would force Danzo to face Justice for his crimes?

"Jiraiya? The Frog Sannin? The Spider's told me a bit about him, they said he couldn't find his hands if he were sitting on them. The information is perfectly reliable since Spiders don't lie. And if you don't believe me... you can ask Nono-san yourself. How do you think I knew about the Massacre ahead of time to wake up the neighborhood?" The boy replied with complete and utter confidence in his voice.

"Very well then! Neko, gather two teams of Anbu immediately. One shall accompany me and pay Nono-san a visit. The other shall find Tsunade Senju and give her a direct order from myself to come to Konoha without delay, if she refuses then tell her she and her ward Shizune shall be labeled as Missing nin. Go! Now! And somebody kick out the Hospital's Head Doctor! He's fired!" The Hokage ordered, the purple haired Anbu nodding and then vanishing in a swirl of leaves to carry out his orders.

"Hokage-sama... when Danzo is arrested... I demand to be the one to kill him. It will appease my remaining clanmembers." Mikoto spoke, earning a brief 'of course' from the Sandaime. He then left the room, knowing that the village was now a powder keg waiting to explode.

 **Later.**

"Goodbye everyone. I'm sorry for having to leave you all like this." Nono Yakushi spoke while waving goodbye to the children she had helped raise when they had all lost their parents at some time or another. She was carrying a suitcase preparing to leave the village on... certain business. She didn't make it very far from the orphanage when she was met with the form of the Hokage, a small group of Anbu at his side.

She was initially puzzled by his sudden appearance, but she greeted him with a small smile and curtsied slightly to him. "Hello Hokage-sama. Is there something I may do for you? Did you come to visit the children today?" She asked him innocently as she adjusted her glasses... but her face fell when she noticed that the Sandaime's aura was tense and alert, like a Shinobi prepared for battle and not his usual warm and grandfatherly tone.

"Is... something the matter? Did something happen?" She asked, swallowing a lump in her throat. The Hokage looked down at the suitcase she had on her person, then his eyes darted back up to meet her own gaze.

"Going somewhere Nono-san?" He asked her instead of answering her previous questions, triggering warning bells in the Caretaker's mind despite feeling no initial threat towards her.

"Erm, yes. I was just leaving the village on some personal business." She replied calmly, putting on her usual sweet and motherly poker face that she used when faced with adversity... but it didn't seem to be working on the aged Hokage.

"Personal business? Really? I am afraid that you'll have to delay your trip. It is my sad duty to report that a Massacre has taken place, numerous children are now left without parents and they shall need a place to stay." He spoke in a grim tone, a look of pure shock forming on the caretaker's face.

"That's horrible! How many? What happened? Who did such a thing?" She asked in a rapid fire manner, dumping her luggage to the ground, grasping the Hokage's shoulders while demanding answers, her eyes now filled with worry and distress at some helpless children having lost their parents.

"You didn't know then. About the Uchiha Massacre that is." Hiruzen stated plainly, gently grabbing her wrists to pull her hands off of his shoulders, lest things turn south very quickly.

"Uchiha? Well, regardless of where the children are from, I'll make all the needed arrangements for them to stay in my orphanage before I leave Konoha." She spoke in a professional manner, adjusting her rounded glasses for a brief moment and turned to head back towards her home... only to stop when she noticed that the Anbu had encircled her, cutting off any chance of leaving.

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that. You won't be leaving Konoha for the foreseeable future." Hiruzen spoke, his hat now shadowing his face slightly, making his hardened expression all the more intimidating.

Nono bit her lip slightly, unsure what to make of this. It was almost as though she were now a criminal. "Hokage-sama... What is this?" She asked, gesturing to the Anbu surrounding her, one of them snatching her luggage away before she could reach for it.

"Nono Yakushi, I have reason to believe you have some form of involvement with my old rival Danzo." The Sandaime spoke in a blunt manner, the caretaker glancing awkwardly about as her body tensed up. If Hiruzen knew she was formerly an agent of Root... she could end up being hanged from a tree.

"Allow me to make this clear, You are an excellent Matron to the Orphanage. Numerous children speak fondly of you. Frankly, if you are indeed in collusion with Danzo and/or his Root organization, and if you willingly cooperate here and now then you will not be pressed with any charges nor will you be named on any reports. I don't care about any past sins you may have committed, they all pale in comparison to Danzo orchestrating an attempt on wiping out an entire clan. I ask you now... will you willingly tell us everything you know about Danzo and his operations?" The Sandaime asked in an even tone, his voice filled with authority and a tenacity that even the Hokage himself believed to have been extinguished years ago.

"I... you must understand... I'm no longer with Root. I quit years ago." She replied in a tone of innocence, trying to slip out of this sticky situation she was now in.

"Does anyone ever truly leave Root? Anbu!" The Sandaime called out, with a series of nods the masked Ninjas shoved the Nun to the ground and proceeded to beat her to a pulp, kicking her and using steel batons to pulverise her body. She curled up into a ball, using her arms to protect her head as she was beaten into the ground.

Her glasses falling off during the beating and then Hiruzen stepped on them, crunching on them underfoot. "Trying to protect Danzo, eh? If that's the case, maybe Ibiki should see about loosening your tongue. I gave you a chance, now you're going to hang with Danzo. That's a promise." the aged Hokage spoke, then nodded to his Anbu, a dog masked one pulled out a burlap bag as his allies pulled the nun off the ground, allowing him to place it over the blonde woman's head.

"Jfat! Dophage-bava!" Nono cried, slamming her body weight into the Anbu behind her to knock him off balance, allowing her to snatch off the bag from her head and yell "It's not Danzo I'm protecting!" She was then promptly tackled to the ground, her arms and legs being tied behind her back as tears began to flow from her eyes. A gag then crammed into her mouth, muffling and further protests.

Growing curious Hiruzen turned back around to face the caretaker and asked "Who then? Who are you protecting?"

The Anbu removed the gag, allowing the blonde woman to answer his question "Kabuto! That old warhawk has taken one of my boys and inducted him into his Root program. He recently tasked me to go to Iwa and eliminate a double-agent threat. If I did that one simple task, then Kabuto-kun would be safe! But if I talk... Danzo might kill him." At the end of her explanation, the Sandaime's expression softened slightly, sensing no deception from her.

"I see. That explains a lot. But Nono-san, you must not trust Danzo. He is a liar and a schemer. Even if you kept your word, he'd kill you to cover it all up. Nono, I promise that if you help me see Danzo arrested and executed, I will see that your boy Kabuto is brought home safely. But I cannot promise what state he may be in on his return." He spoke then extended a hand to her, offering her one last chance. The Anbu released her, making her fall into the ground. The bruises forming on her body throbbing painfully as she reached up and accepted the Hokage's hand.

"Thank you. Hokage-sama. I'll tell you everything I know... just bring Kabuto-kun home safely." She spoke as she shakily stood to her feet ignoring the pain in her body from the previous beating. The Sandaime nodded stiffly, a smile of satisfaction forming on his face. Now... he had a silver bullet to kill Danzo with.

 **Two days later. Konoha hospital**

"...And that is why I summoned you back to Konoha so hastily since you're the best medic in the Nations." Hiruzen explained to his student Tsunade, his arms crossed over his chest while the Senju sipped on a canned beverage from a vending machine, her student Shizune standing in the background with a worried expression.

"So that's it then. You want me to heal this Naruto kid's eye and help out around the hospital, and afterwards I work as his personal doctor for a very generous salary? What makes this kid so special?" The slug Sannin asked out of curiosity since her Sensei only gave a brief explanation of events, but from the way her old Sensei talked about the kid... he must have been important.

"Several things, actually. For one, he has recently revealed that he has a Summoning contract with Spiders. Another is that the boy has become a hero to the surviving Uchiha, they have been showering him with praises and gifts since they realized what he did. And thirdly... he is THEIR child. Finally, the boy is quickly appearing in the spotlight across Konoha, he needs the best that we have to offer to see him through these trying times and the trials ahead whatever they may be." The Sandaime answered, gesturing to the stone faces of the Hokage mountain out the window, most specifically the late Yondaime.

"So that's how it is then... okay. I'll stay in Konoha. Granny Mito always taught me that Family and Clan came first above all else, I'm not about to go back on those teachings... just don't tell Jiraiya I'm here." She asked, not wanting to have to deal with that pervert while she was on the clock.

"Understood. I'll keep him off your back as much as possible, but I am not responsible if he sees you bathing in a hotsprings." Hiruzen replied with a chuckle as he opened the door to Naruto's room. When they entered inside, they found that the room was filled with balloons, gift baskets loaded with goodies, numerous 'Get Well' and 'Thank you' cards littering a nearby table, and an occasional gigantic stuffed animal.

Naruto sat upright in his bed with Mikoto at his side, watching some television while picking at his plate full of hospital food. The two looked up and warmly greeted the newcomers with a pair of friendly waves. "Hello to you both. Naruto-kun, this is my former student Tsunade Senju and her apprentice Shizune Kato. They are perhaps the best medic nin in the world, and are here to personally treat you. I hope you get along, now if you'll excuse me... I have an appointment." The Sandaime introduced the medic nin before taking his leave.

"Hey kid, you're a pretty big name around here now. Ever since I stepped into Konoha, your face has been all over the papers, all over the news channels, you're everywhere now. Hell, seems you even have a fanclub." She spoke with a smirk, gesturing to all the gifts that her teacher had briefly mentioned.

"Seems that way. I'm not exactly used to the 'hero' treatment. I don't really feel all that special for it." He replied in a sincere tone, rubbing the back of his head with a small blush on his cheeks.

"Heh. Humble huh? Good. I can't stand whiny brats that think they're owed something. Now, let's take a look." The blonde woman spoke, gently pulling off the bandages and the medical patch to see the damage. When it was removed she turned a little green in the face, her fear of blood acting up again.

"Tsunade-sama? Maybe I should..." Shizune offered knowing that her Sensei might freeze up or grow faint at any moment, but was cut off by the Senju woman.

"No. I can handle it. I'm fine. There's not really any blood." She spoke in a stern tone, tryin to put on a brave face. She felt a little sick but shook her head. She couldn't let this kid down now. She just had to suck it up and swallow her fear. After a few calming breaths she looked over his damaged eye socket.

"Good news, it should be pretty simple for me to fill in this empty socket if I have a viable eye to put in there." Tsunade spoke with a small smile, feeling more confident in herself for not giving into her fear of blood. Maybe she was getting better? Wonder why it was now of all times?

"Not to worry, The Uchiha clan shall donate eyes from the deceased for Naruto-kun until a suitable replacement is found." Mikoto spoke out of nowhere, a broad smile forming at her own proclamation.

"Eh? An Uchiha eye? What if it can still activate the Sharingan in it? You're just gonna hand something like that over to me?" Naruto asked somewhat shocked at the Uchiha woman's generosity... wait was she even allowed to do something like that?

"Naturally. Me and my clan owe you a debt we can never repay. The donation of a Sharingan eye is but a small token of our appreciation." She replied, planting a small kiss on the boy's head, earning a blush from him. She then stroked one of his whiskered cheeks and whispered to him "If there is anything we can provide for you... it's yours."

"Well, that helps solve a lot of problems. Get me an eye, and I'll get to work." Tsunade spoke with a small smile, her arms crossed under her impressive bust. She could already tell, in the short time she had met this kid that he was something special. Not just anyone could earn the loyalty of a clan practically overnight, especially the Uchiha clan. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stick around, not to mention serving as this kid's doctor was a job with substantial pay... the kind that could help fend off debt collectors.

 **Meanwhile. Hokage office.**

"Never thought I'd see this day." Muttered Hiruzen as he smoked from his pipe, having called his age old rival into his office. Nono spared no details during her questioning, she gave up everything she had to offer to show that she was being cooperative, even allowing Inoichi to scan her mind for any deception to prove it further. She spoke of secret entrances to Root's main base beneath Konoha, secret dealings with Orochimaru, Danzo's obsession with Senju cells and Uchiha Sharingan eyes, and much more. It was all the evidence the Sandaime needed to shut down Root permanently... and this time there wouldn't be any mistakes whatsoever.

"You called for me Hiruzen? Your memo said it was a matter of village security." Danzo announced as he entered inside the Hokage's office. The 'clop clop' of his cane landing on the floor sounding throughout the room as the Sandaime took a drag from his pipe before setting it aside.

"That's 'Hokage-sama', old friend." Hiruzen spoke with a sharp edge to his voice. He snapped his fingers causing multiple Anbu to appear, grabbing the Warhawks limbs and placing several blades at his throat and vital organs. At first, Danzo's blank expression faltered into surprise, but then was replaced by a ghost of a smile.

"So... you finally got me. What gave me away? Where did I slip up?" Danzo asked in mild amusement, never having anticipated that he would ever be arrested by his old rival. This was indeed an unexpected turn of events.

"You didn't. Your strategy of having a scapegoat was flawless... except that type of Strategy is your MO. Always getting others to do your dirty work. I knew from the start that the Uchiha massacre was your doing, but I didn't have sufficient evidence. But now? You're through." Hiruzen spoke in an even tone, not allowing any emotion to be shown.

"Then how do you expect to keep me behind bars? I am very well-protected. Even if you make the details of the Fugaku's coup plans public and have his wife Mikoto testify, you won't be able to convict me since I have no tangible connection to the incident. I can say that Itachi obviously did this of his own volition to protect the Village. You have nothing against me Hiruzen." Danzo spoke in a somewhat smug tone, his overconfidence swelling to new heights.

"True, unless Itachi returns to Konoha and submits to a mind scanning by Inoichi then there's nothing to be done. But Itachi won't come back, he's now vanished into the winds. But... I do have something else. You left a loose end lying around. I know everything! I know where your base is, what orphanages you have in your pocket for fresh recruits, your involvement with Orochimaru and your interest in the bloodlines of the Senju and Uchihas. I know it all." Hiruzen countered, his lips curling into a smirk upon seeing his rival's expression change to surprise again.

The warhawk muttered to himself, wondering how he could have been exposed... what loose end had he left? It was then he realized that the only ones he leaves... are the ones he might need for one final use at a later time. "It was Nono wasn't it? You managed to intercept her before she left Konoha. You discovered she was a former Root operative somehow. How? Don't tell me that bumbling whoremonger Jiraiya stumbled on something?" The Elder asked, his visible eye twitching.

"No. It wasn't Jiraiya. He doesn't even know what's going on at this time. It was someone else... the same one that saw the Massacre coming and had the courage to dive headfirst into danger." Hiruzen answered with an undertone of pride in his voice.

"Ah. The boy. Naruto. I should have realized sooner, how he knew is beyond me. But regardless, everything I have done, I have done for Konoha." The Elder spoke in defiance.

"Maybe. At one time. But now it was all for yourself and your own need for power and control. That ends here. You won't be seeing the inside of a cell Danzo, if anything, you'll be even more dangerous there. Even if I were to schedule a trial for your execution, your allies will stall it indefinitely... Root shall die with you. Today." The Sandaime spoke, knowing this was the only way to stop Danzo and his organization. With a brief nod, he signaled the Anbu to take the Elder away to be killed quietly.

"So you're finally willing to make the hard choices... Maybe the village is in good hands after all. I regret nothing." Danzo spoke as he was taken away to be permanently silenced. Hiruzen turned his back to his rival, feeling nothing but contempt for his former comrade. Without him, Root will whither and fade away like a bad dream... it was a new day for Konoha now.

Soon he would need to address the Councils of Konoha, make proper funeral arrangements, and maybe some big celebration in Naruto's honor when he got out of the hospital. Oh, maybe put a few Anbu on the boy to keep away the paparazzi. There was also a matter of a reward for the boy. Something big. Something special... but what? Suddenly... it clicked in his mind. It'd be perfect. There may even be consequences... but now that some of Konoha's largest internal threats had been dealt with... he didn't see the harm.

 **A Week later.**

Time has passed since the failed Uchiha Massacre, and everything has largely returned to normal in Konoha. But now came the time for an official address by the Hokage now that he had tied up some loose ends. The Shinobi and Civilian Councils were all in attendance, although for some reason the Elder council had to excuse themselves claiming they 'felt ill' or something of the like after a brief meeting in private with the Sandaime.

The Hokage banged a gavel to call for silence amongst the Councils, once they all fell quiet Hiruzen began to speak in a tone of authority, befitting his position and the reasons behind this meeting "I trust you all know why we're here. I would very much like to thank you all for coming, especially you Mikoto-san for attending. I know it has been a trying time for you since you have been thrust into the position of Clan head." He spoke gesturing to the Uchiha who nodded in acknowledgment, although she was relieved the other Clan heads readily welcomed her since her late husband was quite unpopular amongst them. Largely due to his totalitarian and Uchiha superiority views and rhetoric.

The Hokage then cleared his throat and held up a newspaper, the front page showing the Uchiha district crime scene along with a picture of a certain whiskered boy. "The details are all right here in black and white on every newspaper in Konoha. Itachi Uchiha attempted to kill his entire clan, however there are some blanks... the motive for one. Was it of his own reasoning? Was it because he was blackmailed by someone? I am afraid that these questions may never be completely answered since Itachi has vanished, and I sincerely doubt he shall ever return.

But that's not all, shortly after the Massacre, an anonymous tip was forwarded to me about a lead that had information about the true mastermind behind it all. I followed up on it and questioned said lead, who for security reasons and their own safety, shall remain unnamned. The informant then disclosed, after some persuasion, that Danzo and his Root Anbu, which was still very much active, orchestrated the entire Massacre and used Itachi as the point man and scapegoat." The Sandaime announced and allowed this news to sink in, earning a ripple of murmurs.

The Shinobi council wasn't surprised whatsoever that Danzo had something to do with this tragedy, although the Civilians looked quite angry that one of their business partners was being accused like this. "Where's your proof Hiruzen-san? What evidence do you have against Danzo?" asked Kizashi Haruno, a known nuisance and former Shinobi who found it far more enriching to be the head of the Civilian council.

"The informant gave us everything. Even leading us to Root's headquarters beneath Konoha. Its all gone now. My Anbu have already torn it apart and collapsed all the entrances. Danzo was found fleeing the village and was killed during the escape attempt, all of his Root operatives have all vanished or have been found dead by committing suicide. Danzo's finances and assets shall be given to the Uchiha clan to help cover the costs of the funerals, the repairs, and whatever other expenses Mikoto-san deems appropriate. And Kizashi... it is 'Hokage-sama'." The Sandaime spoke, jabbing a finger at the pink haired man warning him to toe the line, or else something might get cut off.

"Y... Danzo is dead? You can't just do that. There are protocols and... and..." Kizashi muttered, only to be cut off by a raised hand from the Sandaime.

"I can and already did. What Danzo did counted as a War crime, ergo, it is ultimately my decision as the Hokage. There is also one additional matter... may I introduce our newest guest of honor..." The Sandaime gestured towards the council doors which were opened by a pair of Anbu standing guard to reveal a familiar blonde being pushed inside on a wheelchair by the slug Sannin's apprentice.

"Wow... a formal invitation to meet the council's of Konoha. I'm certainly moving up in the world." The blonde spoke in innocently with a small blush, a medical eyepatch keeping his new eye hidden away so it could adjust properly. Some members of the Shinobi council smiled at Naruto, while those like Shibi Aburame and Hiashi Hyuuga gave brief nods of respect for the boy. The Civilian council however looked livid to even be in the presence of the Jinchuuriki.

"Greetings Naruto. How's the new eye treating you?" Mikoto asked with a small smile, glad to have at least given something back to the boy for helping save her clan, not to mention helping make Danzo 'vanish'. It was utterly satisfying when she cut off his head and dumped the remains off the side of a cliff, not that the Civilian council needed to know of course.

"Still itches and tingles. Shizune-san and Tsunade-san tell me the operation was a complete success. It'll be fine after a while." Naruto replied while pointing at his nurse with his thumb, the dark haired medic smiling sweetly all the while.

"Erm... Hokage-sama... what is HE doing here?" Kizashi asked the Sandaime, the pink haired man's eyebrow twitching at the mere sight of the boy.

"Hey! Don't talk like I ain't in the room! I'm sitting right here!" Naruto half-yelled towards the ex-Shinobi, the Clan heads all glaring in Kizashi's direction for the lack of respect.

"Isn't it obvious? Naruto-kun here is a hero! Who here can ever say they risked life and limb to save an entire clan without any Shinobi experience whatsoever?" The Sandaime asked in a rhetorical manner, earning silence from the Councils since that was true... although the Civilians were more reluctant on that part and glared at the whiskered boy.

"To thank Naruto-kun for his service to Konoha, it is with great pleasure, that I formally announce his newfound status as the Head of the newly formed Uzumaki clan." The Sandaime announced earning applause from the Shinobi council, with the Civilians now looking utterly mortified at the prospect of the boy owning his own clan.

Naruto merely smiled... until he finally registered what he was about to receive "Whoa now! Hold on! Isn't that a little much? I don't think I did anything to deserve my own clan or anything here." The blonde protested, more out of shock than anything else.

"I say otherwise Naruto-kun. And you can't refuse this either. Your position on the Shinobi council shall be kept vacant for you, until your graduation from the Academy. Until then, Tsunade has, with great reluctance, agreed to represent you until that time and has also generously donated the home of the late Senju brothers to act as your new compound." Hiruzen spoke, which was the final nail in the coffin, causing the boy to pass out in his wheelchair, his nurse quickly catching him to prevent the boy from slipping out of his seat.

"Any member of the Civilian council that dares disagree, shall immediately be expunged, trialed, and imprisoned right here." Hiruzen spoke with a warning glare directed at the Civilians, cutting off any chance at protests. With that said and done, the Sandaime banged his gavel signaling the end of the meeting. Shizune began wheeling out her current charge with the Clan heads exiting close behind, some of them already thinking about possible clan alliances and marriage offers when the boy graduated.

 **Later. Naruto's hospital room.**

"Hell of a time. Busting up a massacre, becoming a hero and celebrity overnight. Now a Clan head to boot. Next thing I know, I'm gonna get a damn harem." Naruto spoke jokingly as several spiders danced between his fingers, while others hanging quietly chittering to each other.

"Yeah. I know I disrupted the entire status quo of the government when I tipped the old man off about Nono. But the Uchiha's wouldn't have been safe until that Danzo guy was dealt with, you all told me the shit he did. Hmm? What's that? Kizashi? Oh yeah, that guy. He's definitely a prick. No, I don't know why he hates Shinobi. If you guys don't know then it might be a personal reason. What? Oh heeeeeeell nooooooo. I'm not out to be rich or famous or anything, your tip-off did that. All I wanted was to help people... just roll with it? Well, I'm in it now. If I start getting too big for my britches or entitled... please crawl up my ass and bite away. Last thing I need is to become a duck-butt Emo asshole." Naruto spoke having a conversation with the spiders.

"What do you mean I didn't appear much in this chapter?! What is this a manga?" Naruto yelled in confusion, while the spiders always told him some interesting secrets... they also told him some weird stuff too. Like he is a fictional character for one. Regardless, the spiders were still his friends and things seemed to be looking up now.

 **End Chapter one.**

 **Next time, On Spider Dance: It's time for the Academy and Naruto's celebrity status lands him in a class full of hormonal fangirls, jealous boys, and of course ass-kissing teachers. What can go wrong?**

 **Omake: The Many Deaths of Sasuke. (Part one.)**

"Sasuke-kun, the nurses said you're not eating properly." Mikoto Uchiha spoke in a worried tone, relieved that her son was fine... but then she saw that he hadn't even touched his meal. He was currently flipping through channels but every single one was showing some news story related to Naruto Uzumaki. Finally having enough, the boy through the remote at the television causing it to pierce through the glass.

"... You could have just pushed the off button." Mikoto commented with a sweat-drop, worrying that her son was contracting what became dubbed as 'Madara Syndrome', an illness of the mind that seems to develop exclusively in Uchiha males. Those suffer from it exhibit, Superiority complexes, irrational and/or self-destructive behavior and tendencies, and a constant hunger for more power. Fugaku gained it when the Sandaime took back the Hokage seat instead of letting someone else have the position... and now Sasuke has it.

"That... Dobe... he was just a nobody before. Now all of a sudden he's the star. I could have helped save the Uchiha clan instead of him." Sasuke sneered and turned in his bed so he wouldn't have to look at his mother.

"... Are you... jealous? Of Naruto-kun? Sasuke Uchiha! I did not raise you into be a spoilt brat! There was nothing you could have done anyway against your brother. You should be grateful to Naruto-kun that I am still alive along with the other survivors. What would you have done if we were all gone?" She demanded angrily, pinching his ear making her son yelp in pain.

"I don't have to listen to this! That Dobe is just a gloryhound seeking attention! Why can't anyone see that?" The young 'avenger' yelled and slapped his mother's hand away, leaping off his bed so that he might retreat into the nearby restroom and lock himself in... until he tripped on his feet and slammed his head against the toilet bowl, which caused a sickening snap to ring through the air signaling that his neck was broken.

Mikoto screamed in terror at losing another son and ran out of the room to find a nurse, or a doctor, or someone that could help... in the few moments she was gone the clock struck midnight and Sasuke's corpse vanished in a brief flash of light then reformed back in the hospital bed. His eyes snapped open as he looked about and sat up in the bed, his eyes looking around at the toilet.

"Did that just happen?" Sasuke asked himself for a brief moment. But then shrugged it off as he slumped back into his bed for another brooding session.

Outside, Mikoto came to a halt as her mind suddenly drew a blank. "Wait... why was I screaming just now? Did I forget something?" She asked herself and began pacing about the hall, racking her brain for the purpose of her screams. She knew she had a reason... but she couldn't remember what it was.

 **End Omake.**

 **A/N: Howdy there folks. I decided to do this little number because I wondered... What if Naruto was the popular one and not Sasuke? What if Naruto had his own Summons? What if Danzo was removed from the equation? Ohoho! The possibilites! Eat it Uchiha-loving Kishimoto! HAHAHA! Hope you enjoy! Reviews are welcome! Whiners about how I update well... fuck you. I know I have a problem.**

 **And yes, Sasuke's first death wasn't all that creative, but this was technically an introduction. Look forward to more!**

 **Next update: History's Strongest Sensei.**


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